Kids Dealing with Boredom

It was a fine weekend but it was so humid last Sunday. I have updated the bedding and our wardrobes with summer items. I was starting to have a headache that morning so I couldn't go with Max for a run around the neighbourhood. I let him ride his scooter on his own instead.

He's been begging me to watch a movie or play a video game but I told him that he can only do it in the afternoon. By midday, I let him and Rose go for a scooter ride to the nearby school while I was getting lunch ready.

After lunch, the headache got worse so I went for a nap. Both me and hubby fell asleep that afternoon and woke up at past 5pm. I remember waking up twice in between and the place was just very quiet.

When I got up later that day, the kids were playing with their Lego bricks. I asked them what they did before that. Rose said she took to writing. Whereas Max complained about how bored he was so he just ended up reading a book! (I had a big smile when he said that.)

They have snacks that are well within reach so I wasn't concerned about them getting hungry as we slept.

Then it was dinner time and it wasn't long that I was telling them to go to bed. Their bedtime is as 8pm. Max was so annoyed as he didn't get the chance to even watch TV. (Success!) There's school the next day so he can't really complain.

The next day, Monday, they did manage to find time to watch a movie - Stork and still get through with their routine for a school week, bedtime routine.

Many times the kids will tell me that they're bored. My default answer is always "not my problem". because really, it isn't! If they do press on then I'd tell them to just read a book. I'm always busy with house chores anyway. I do get them to help me as much as possible. Sometimes they will complain, sometimes they will volunteer or insist on helping out. I love it when they do that.

So You Want to Visit New Zealand

New Zealand is made up of 2 big islands: North Island and South Island. Auckland is somewhere at the northern part of the the North Island. Wellington, the capital is somewhere at the bottom part of the North Island. Most of the places that we've been to here at the North Island has a beach, a walking trail (hiking and walking is the same thing) and most likely a playground. All these places we've just Googled. It's interesting the level of detail that people put out there for you to consume. We also relied on our GPS navigator to take us to these places. Popular places that Aucklanders seem to visit often during school holidays are Whangarei, Rotorua, Taupo and Coromandel. We haven't been to the South Island but have mostly explored Auckland and nearby towns.

They say that the South Island is like a different country that's why we still have a couple of things to do here from our bucket list:

• go on a road trip to the South Island
• take one of the scenic train journeys (when the kids are older)
• go to Lake Tekapo for the Southern Lights (Aurora Australis)
• go to Milford Sound
• go hiking or tramping in one of the family-friendly trails at South Island. 

Fans of the Hobbit and LOTR movies visit at least one of the 23 sites where the movies took place. These are spread around NZ. I've only been to Hobbiton, which is 3 hours away from Auckland. Nearby is Taupo, which is a jump off point to Tongariro Crossing, where Mordor is. I have thought about doing this crossing which is a day hike but maybe when the kids are older.

So to my friends and family who want to visit New Zealand, I'd say give it at least 2 weeks. New Zealand has lots of free scenic attractions. The country is also popular for its extreme adventures (bungy jump, skydiving, etc.) and this is one of the safest places that you can do it. Also, New Zealand is a drive-able country. It is very common for tourists to rent a car and drive themselves around. Transport options, local tours, accommodation, etc. can be booked directly. Tourism is one of the biggest industries here so expect the locals, or most of the tourist towns to be looking after you.

Your primary expenses would be Visit Visa fees if applicable (see immigration.govt.nz), airfare, transport, accommodation and food. Do some research on the things that you like to do and then take it from there. You should be able to work your way through transport, tours and accommodation.

Riding the Waves at Browns Bay

Saturday at Browns Bay, with my kids at the middle/front

I never thought that there'd be a time where I can see my son, happily riding the waves. He's 9 and he was out there with his boogie board one Saturday afternoon, enjoying the surf. He went as far as where the water was up to his neck. That really gave me a fright as the surf do go higher than him. With a big nudge, I managed to get hubby to get his attention to go back to where the water is only up to his waist. Can't help it, he was by himself in the water. And we were maybe 3 mins away (if you walk), watching him from a picnic table. He was also drawn to two older kids who were further out, where the water is up to their chests. He didn't protest when I signaled him to head back. His fingers were already wrinkly and he kept giving a thumbs up sign as he rode the waves towards the beach. That must've been fun! (Oh motherhood, it's changed me to become such a worrier!)

Visiting the Philippines After 6 Years Abroad

It took months of preparation and at least a year of psyching ourselves out. The goal was to spend Christmas at the Philippines and spend as much time as we can with the family, particularly the grandmas. And so we did, spent 35 days in the Philippines between December 2018 and January 2019.

When we left Manila, we only had our hopes and dreams of starting a life in New Zealand. Six years on, we’ve gotten into the flow of things. We became Aucklanders and later on, pledged our oath of allegiance as NZ citizens. And then came the realisation of our long awaited visit home.  

In retrospect, the trip helped us appreciate what we have. It made me focus on our goals. Auckland is our home now and we should just carry on from here. The Philippines is part of us but our life now is in New Zealand. We are grateful that the kids got to spend time with the family and have enjoyed visiting the many homes. At least now they have a conscious memory of their time spent with the family.

The trip also brought that feeling of being displaced. I think it's because I now see things with very different eyes. It's knowing that I was once part of it but now, I'm no longer the same. I feel different and I seem to just hold on to the bonds that I had with the past. There's still that warmth but I suppose, whether it's ageing or maybe it's something to do with being abroad long enough, there is also that feeling of being displaced. It wasn't as how things were anymore.

Some practical things that we learned:

• Booking for at least 1 night at a hotel near the airport is a good idea for both arrival and pre-departure. It gives you that space to breathe, to rest and to clear your thoughts. It also helps you take it all in.
• Stay long enough in one place especially when you’re travelling with kids. I found it quite stressful and time consuming to be packing and unpacking our things too frequently. There’s a lot of changing of clothes for the kids coz of the warm weather so dealing with laundry can be a mission. It’s a good thing that my kids are used to being on the go. They woke up early as needed and had no issues sleeping at night.
• Ask your friends to come to you. It saves you time and worry of finding your way again in the concrete jungle.
• Support local businesses. Buying fish from the local fishermen was an exciting experience for my son as he got to see their fresh catch and the boat that was used. It’s also good to pick up some locally made items like those handwoven blankets at Vigan. We also enjoyed buying fresh bread at the local bakery. You’d be surprised with what the local bakers are making, and they’re sometimes unique to that town.
• Always have basic medication ready. One of the first things that we bought when we arrived was paracetamol for the kids. As you head further out of the city, it can be difficult to find a pharmacy so best to have some basic meds, and a first aid kit handy. The kids had fever during our trip. It would’ve been good to have packed some ice packs then. We also had an accident while the kids were playing so some cotton balls, gauze, iodine and a gauze tape would’ve been handy. A pantyliner can be handy too.
• Always have enough cash with you. The Philippines is still a very cash-based society.
• We used an anti-mosquito repellant almost everyday. Despite its strong citronella scent, you’d still need a mosquito coil (katol) to ward off these insects. 4pm is a good time to start spraying this onto yourself.
• Bring a travel tissue wherever you go. Both wet and dry. Don’t expect public toilets to have a toilet paper (worse, there can be no water!).
• And when travelling, always have enough bottled water with you especially during hot days.

The Lure of Gadgets and Video Games

I still get surprised to hear other parents complaining about how it's been difficult to get their kids off from devices. Some even said that they'd wish that these gadgets/ video games weren't invented.

I always thought that the answer's simple. Keep the devices away from the kids. If you let them play, then give a time limit. Also, the games/ activities should be age appropriate. Alan would often find a game where two people can play together. That way the kids are forced into working together, and figuring out the game together.

I didn't really pay much attention with the Pokemon Nintendo 2Ds. Turns out, it has a lot of tools that enables a child to be creative: making short videos, doodling on a photo, making animation, etc. Of course Alan already knew that hence he was so keen on getting it for the kids back then.

It does require effort from parents to learn what's out there to ensure that what you're giving your child is something that you can actually manage. I think it poses as a risk if you just give them all these devices/ access to the software/ sites without filtering. Kids do get carried away with whatever is the latest hype on devices and games at school. There's nothing wrong with not always giving into the hype. But we do make an effort to understand what it is that they're talking about. Then Alan evaluates whether it's worth giving it a go.

When Max was asking permission to play Fortnite, I was impressed with how he handled my version of no. I told him that it's not age appropriate and that he might end up addicted to the game. After clarifying what addiction means, he said it's not the only game that he will play anyway. He just wants to give it a go and play with his friends, but not all the time. He made it clear that he will practise restraint.

Now that's definitely a mature response than just insisting on wanting to play.

I'm not a gamer but Alan is. I don't see the point of spending for these gadgets/ software. I am old school so it will take a lot of convincing for me to agree on spending money on these things. My priorities are obviously different. But it's good to have Alan there filtering out these things for the family. At least the kids are not behind on their awareness of what technology offers. They're currently enjoying a balance of real and virtual play.