The Lure of Gadgets and Video Games

I still get surprised to hear other parents complaining about how it's been difficult to get their kids off from devices. Some even said that they'd wish that these gadgets/ video games weren't invented.

I always thought that the answer's simple. Keep the devices away from the kids. If you let them play, then give a time limit. Also, the games/ activities should be age appropriate. Alan would often find a game where two people can play together. That way the kids are forced into working together, and figuring out the game together.

I didn't really pay much attention with the Pokemon Nintendo 2Ds. Turns out, it has a lot of tools that enables a child to be creative: making short videos, doodling on a photo, making animation, etc. Of course Alan already knew that hence he was so keen on getting it for the kids back then.

It does require effort from parents to learn what's out there to ensure that what you're giving your child is something that you can actually manage. I think it poses as a risk if you just give them all these devices/ access to the software/ sites without filtering. Kids do get carried away with whatever is the latest hype on devices and games at school. There's nothing wrong with not always giving into the hype. But we do make an effort to understand what it is that they're talking about. Then Alan evaluates whether it's worth giving it a go.

When Max was asking permission to play Fortnite, I was impressed with how he handled my version of no. I told him that it's not age appropriate and that he might end up addicted to the game. After clarifying what addiction means, he said it's not the only game that he will play anyway. He just wants to give it a go and play with his friends, but not all the time. He made it clear that he will practise restraint.

Now that's definitely a mature response than just insisting on wanting to play.

I'm not a gamer but Alan is. I don't see the point of spending for these gadgets/ software. I am old school so it will take a lot of convincing for me to agree on spending money on these things. My priorities are obviously different. But it's good to have Alan there filtering out these things for the family. At least the kids are not behind on their awareness of what technology offers. They're currently enjoying a balance of real and virtual play.

Hugs, Cuddles and Kisses

This morning I woke up a bit late. Seeing that I was still in bed, Rose went straight to our room, landed on top of me and said "Good morning Mommy!" It's mid-week and she knows that we all need to get ready for school/ work soon. When I asked her to fix her bed as I was getting up, she said ok and left.

Weekend mornings are wonderful especially if we are sleeping in. As the soccer season is over, and the kids' swimming is not until ten in the morning, I can actually stay in bed. That also means Alan, stays in bed, then the kids would one by one start to find (or make!) some space for themselves on our bed. Rose loves to wrap her arm around us. Max likes to cuddle next to me. We have a queen size bed and so far, we all still manage to fit by not moving much. There'd be some tickling that comes after, and lots of giggles, to roaring laughs. All these while we all start getting hungry and me hoping that Alan would get up first to get breakfast going.

We haven't really practised "Mano po" with our kids. It's the act of the child, holding your hand and putting it on his/her forehead. But everyday, I do get a hug and kiss from the kids whenever they're ready to leave for school in the morning. And the same hug and kiss, or it could be a longer hug and lots of kisses at night before going to bed. I do feel bad if they don't do this with me on either occasion. The kids feel bad too so even if they're upset from an argument with me, or from being told off, the hug really eases the tension. And the kiss helps the tears go away.

When I come home feeling tired, I sit on the couch and prop my feet up. And whether I decide to turn the TV on or just stare blankly out on the open, the kids will, little by little, find themselves within a very close proximity. Often they'd be reading a book. They like sitting next to me, wrapping themselves with the throw that I have on when I have the TV turned on. And it's as if I don't care enough if I shoo them away, or not make room for them.

I used to get overwhelmed with all these touchy, feely stuff my kids naturally provide. But now I've gotten used to it to the point that I start noticing them growing out of this little by little. I suppose naturally, the kids will want to be on their own, and probably not need that many hugs and cuddles and kisses  from Mom.

But for now, I am really savouring it. I love their hugs, and cuddles and kisses!

My Kiwi Kids

When I brought Rose to her friend’s house for a birthday party, she ran straight in and followed a couple of other excited kids who were running around the house, exploring the place. The Mum said I’m welcome to stay or if I had something to do, I can leave Rose as well. Then Rose rushed back, almost bumping into me. She stopped to give me a hug then said “Bye Mum!”

So I left her there, knowing pretty well what the kids are likely to do and have for the party. I remember one parent telling me (on another birthday party) during pick up, saying “He’s had fun and is all sugared up.” It was in one of the birthday parties that Max went to. It makes me think that’s the recipe for success: lots of playtime and plenty of sweets!

When my kids were younger, I remember them looking for toys at a house with no kids. I think they assumed that even if you’re an adult, you’d still have toys lying around the house.

I find myself amazed with how my children find it to be a natural thing to be able to play with other kids. (That’s because I’m terribly shy as a kid!) At the playground, they end up talking to and playing with other kids who they just met. While observing them, it’s as if they know each other from school. Funny though that Max wouldn’t initially bother with asking their names. So when asked, he’d just give a shrug and say that he doesn’t know who he was playing with. As he got older though, he’s learned to ask for the name at least. Sometimes, he’d find out which school or club they go to. Rose is the same.

Since my children started going to Primary school, our lives completely changed and our calendar is now in sync with the school calendar. Like other families, we book our family holidays during school holidays. I rely on school holiday programs where they offer free or discounted activities for families with children. It's normal to see fathers or grandparents (not just mothers) to be pushing a pram, or walking the kids around the neighbourhood, and to the park. There are events and venues that are especially catered for families with kids, especially during the school holidays. Or maybe it’s coz I’m always on a lookout for events/ places where I can bring the kids.

My kids (now aged 7 and 9) also understand the concept of gay relationships. They would ask me with the curiosity and innocence of a child. I simply replied matter-of-fact that it happens and it's ok. I was asked by Rose one day if a man can marry another man, same with a woman. I said yes, but that's only in New Zealand. Then she said (in a matter-of-fact tone) that her classmate's Mom is married to another woman. 

As the kids grow, I do pick up useful insights and practical tips from fellow parents, especially from my colleagues whose kids are much older. We do take the opportunity for the kids to have access to a variety of things to help expand their skills and experience. It’s great to see the kids enjoying themselves being kids, being aware of the rich diversity around them. I’m hoping they’d carry on with their endless imaginative play, their yearning for outdoor play, be immersed with books, making comic strips or writing stories. Everyday is always an adventure with them.

The Best of Auckland

In a PinoyKiwi forum post, a Creative head from Trending with Kelly was asking forum members about recommendations, topics, leads on the best of Auckland, for their show entitled, "Trending with Kelly". It's a lifestyle show on ANC, which is also simulcasted on The Filipino Channel.

Naturally I felt compelled to put something together to help them out. Besides, I just can't help but share all the great stuff Auckland has to offer. here's my reply to his post.

***
Wow, another lifestyle travel show! At the time of your visit (28 Sept to 9 Oct 2018), I do recommend you experiencing these:

• Visit Cornwall Park http://cornwallpark.co.nz/ (free)

• Cherry blossom trees are in full bloom usually in late September
• Seeing the new lambs on the pastures (the park is also a farm so you don’t need to leave town just to see these)
• Sunset at One Tree Hill – this is any time of the year
• It’s a big park with varying views. We go here by default if we can’t think of a place to go (we do have itchy feet). Our kids just run around, play soccer or climb trees. On a warm sunny day, every Aucklander should at least be able to experience having a picnic here with a bubbly (sparkling wine) – yes, it’s ok to be drinking at the park. Men like their beers, women like their bubblies.
• They do have eateries in this park, but we only really go to the Creamery for ice cream and coffee as we often bring our own picnic 
• How to get there: by car, best to get a rental as most of Auckland are best accessed by car. It’s a very spread out city.

• Wine tasting at Waiheke Island – day tour, highly recommended for foodies 

• Book a round trip ticket at Fullers, they have packages for food and wine tasting: https://www.fullers.co.nz/experiences-tours/wine-food-tours/
• It’s a popular getaway with the girls, wine/ lunch at a vineyard place
• I do recommend those visiting Auckland to spend a day at Waiheke. They have art galleries there too as many artists reside there. You can also just buy an all day bus pass so you can explore the island on your own. 
• The Ferry terminal is just at downtown Auckland. That is where the Fullers ferries are docked. Fullers has many other packages to travel to nearby islands, other tourist destinations.

• Maori cultural show at the War Memorial Museum – it’s a good welcome for visitors, good to see the Haka too. I recommend this if you are just staying in Auckland and not heading anywhere else in NZ. There are daily performances at the http://www.aucklandmuseum.com/ 

• The War Memorial Museum entry is free for Aucklanders. It is located at the Auckland Domain (the Auckland Domain is a park, free entry)
• The museum has many exhibits, and it’s easy to spend the rest of the day there 
• Here at the Auckland Domain, and just a couple of steps away from the museum is the Wintergarden. Spring is a good time to visit the Wintergarden (free entry) coz that’s when they have the most beautiful blooms!
• I work near the Auckland Domain, in fact, I go for a walk at the Auckland Domain during my lunch break almost everyday. We have a group at work who likes playing soccer during lunch time every Wednesday. You will see other groups doing other sports, often these are employees who work nearby. There are also the runners, and those doing group fitness programs. Lunch time is busy here at the Domain not just with tourists heading to the museum and the Wintergarden, but with locals alike

• This is why I love Auckland, they have this Chocolate and Coffee Show https://chocolatecoffeeshow.co.nz/ It’s an annual event scheduled 6th &7th October. Auckland has lots of similar events that showcases not just local cuisine, or produce but the diversity of the food and culture as Auckland is the most diverse city in NZ. It could be a boat show, a wine festival, or a cultural event. Suggest you contact Devonport Chocolates. They are an exhibitor and their chocolate shop is at Devonport, where the Navy Museum and North Head are at. While Whittaker is a popular NZ chocolate brand, their home base is at Porirua, outside Auckland. Devonport Chocolate is Auckland-based (see more details in their website). They have a good Auckland story.

• Go for a walk (in the city or at the bush, it's free). Here’s a guide: http://epiclittlemissions.co.nz/ 
As an Aucklander, our weekend (for us it’s with kids) can be like this:

• Friday afternoon during summer, after office, head to a beach with a playground (Coyle Park, Takapuna or Brown’s Bay) and have fish and chips for dinner
• Saturday afternoon (after the kids sports), go to the CBD for some shopping at High Street and Queen Street. Then head straight to Wynyard Quarter so the kids can play at the playground. Then dinner at one of the many restaurants at the CBD. 
• There’s a Filipino eatery at Elliot Stables. It’s called HomeCooked and this is where we take the kids to sample authentic Filipino dishes. There are a couple more Filipino restaurants scattered in Auckland too. Among these is Nanam. They’ve taken the Filipino cuisine up a notch. Even non-Pinoys love their food!
• Elliot Stables is also a popular spot for locals. They have many food choices, and drinks, and they stay open late.
• Or, leave early Saturday or Sunday morning, go to a regional park like Long Bay, Shakespeare, etc. and spend the morning at the beach. Or just head to North Head (free) at Devonport to watch the many ships, ferries and sails that cross that channel. Have lunch at the Navy Museum (free) then head back home to do some chores. Or chores first before you leave the house!
• It’s normal to get dirt or sand on your shoes if you’re like us who enjoy the open space and nature

• Get wet

• Ride some killer surfs at Piha beach (not for the inexperienced!) – in Spring? It might still be worth the drive out to the west coast, to see that black sand (free). If not Piha, then just go to Muriwai and see the ganet colony. It’s along the same stretch of black sand beach.

• If you just want to eat, then 

• You may want to sample a food tour with a local guide: https://www.tripadvisor.co.nz/Attraction_Review-g255106-d2248544-Reviews-The_Big_Foody_Food_Tours-Auckland_Central_North_Island.html 
• Go for High Tea
  Yes, it’s another girly treat but it’s fun and it doesn’t have to be just tea, you may opt for bubblies too. 
• Check out Hotel de Brett High Tea or Sofitel High Tea 
• Do the Brick Bay Wines and Sculpture Trail. Yes, more wine! 

A week is short but hopefully, you’ll find something to keep you occupied that week. We have been living in a suburb here at central Auckland for the past couple of years. My above list are personal recommendations. I’m not affiliated with any of the mentioned establishments. Just sharing my insights.

Children's birthday parties are really just for kids

We just finished a 7^th birthday party for my daughter yesterday. Can’t believe she’s 7! She was just 18 months when she arrived here in NZ. Oh how time flies!

Her birthday’s on a Saturday. I put up some banners by the dining room wall, wrapped a birthday gift (plush toys) and left it on the dinner table overnight. It was good surprise for her, but then I didn’t have a birthday cake yet! So we just took some leftover banana bread, stuck a candle on it and sang happy birthday to her. That was past 7am while she was trying to finish her breakfast. Then we rushed to Phyllis Reserve where she played 7^th grade soccer at 8am. After the game, she handed out some treats to her teammates (Freddo chocolate frogs). Each kid had a piece.

On our way back, we went straight to St. Lukes mall to do her eye check at OPSM. Then to Countdown to get some ingredients for the cake and our meals that weekend. At home, I made baked pasta twist. Then following a very basic recipe, my daughter and I were able to put together a birthday cake.

Rose's Forest Cake with shooting stars and torches

My son had an 11am soccer game at Beachlands, that’s half an hour away so he and hubby were back late. They bought KFC bucket as an added treat for the birthday lunch. Then I just let the kids watch a movie, and skipped their 2pm swimming lessons. It’s been raining on and off that day so not good to be outdoors. At 3pm, we picked up the chipmunk cake that I ordered for the party the next day. We had the cake for afternoon tea and then just leftovers for dinner.

Here's the Chipmunk cake that I ordered from City Cake Company

The next day, Sunday, we heard mass at 10am. I made soup from the remaining mustasa leaves for lunch. Hubby did a batch of washing, vacuumed the lounge and cleaned the toilet, while the kids played. We left for Chipmunks at 1:35pm for the party. The kids arrived in trickles from 2pm onwards. Upon arrival, they just took off their shoes and went straight to the play areas. As usual, the parents just dropped their kids off.

The kids were just running around and enjoyed the place, while hubby tried to take photos. A little after 3pm, we were called to the party room as the food was being served. Charlie, the mascot seemed to have taken longer than usual to get ready to bring the cake so we decided to bring it in ourselves. Rose’s cake had a chipmunk on top. Interesting how the kids seemed to be more interested in eating parts of the chipmunk, same as Rose. She happily shared.

Finally, Charlie the chipmunk managed to show up and cheer the kids. After a few photos, and eating a few more, the kids slowly disappeared from the party room and ran straight back to the play areas. I’m glad my Filipino friends were there as their presence provided me with some much needed support. And we managed to do a bit of catching up too while their kids were busy playing.

Rose was very happy and enjoyed the party. We headed home just after 4pm. Rose’s excitement continued with opening her presents. Even Max enjoyed his loot bag especially the few treats that I’ve tucked in there. At the end of the day, the kids were both smiling as they happily prepared their things for school the next day.

Just last month, we had a Nerf War party for Max’s 9^th birthday. It’s the same experience, the birthday party itself is really just playing with their friends. They didn’t eat that much but spent most of the time playing.

Both kids had been to a few other birthday parties, even play dates as well this year. And it’s interesting how the parents would tell me that now I can take some time off while my child’s in that party/ play date. I suppose it meant a break from parenting during that time. 

As a child, birthdays meant having spaghetti, or pancit, maybe fried chicken and some fizzy drink. We didn't have an oven and cakes only became affordable when I was an adult. And the children's parties in Manila meant inviting not just the kids, but their parents, the rest of the family as well. It was a feast, with maybe some games and the birthday kid sitting awkwardly in front of everyone. Unlike here, it seems so simple, brief and yet fun all at the same time.

SpeechCraft: The Choices We Make

It was our final evening for the SpeechCraft Course and we were to deliver two speeches. One is a celebratory speech, 200 words. I did it in a rush. Just wrote about a speech for a Service Recognition Award (20 years) and I based the story from one of my colleagues who've been with us for more than 20 years. It was delivered in a minute and a half. My evaluator noted that it was clear and delivered well.

Another is an inspirational speech, 430 words. My teacher said that the speech was entertaining and motivational, borderline inspirational. But at the end of the evalluation, he changed his mind and said that it was indeed an inspirational speech. Again he said that I was good with my facial expressions, my gestures were just right and I didn't look nervous at all.

This is the inspirational speech that I delivered and it's 466 words, delivered in 4 minutes:

When you make a choice, notice that everything in your life follows that choice.

I remember that time when I started taking French language lessons. The course was expensive and most of the people who were taking it either had a French partner, or were intending to move to Canada. You get extra points from immigration if you know the language. I didn’t have the guts to tell my family the real reason why I’m doing it, which was to eventually read Les Miserables in French.

I come from a working class family. My parents worked hard so I can earn a degree, so I can get a job to support myself, get married and have kids. Then do the cycle again.

Thus taking language lessons just didn’t make any sense even though I already had a decent job. I pretended that I too was planning to migrate to Canada. And migrating always made practical sense as it meant better opportunities, a better life.

It was in that class where I met two women, both were strangers to each other but both happened to have met someone named Gio. Gio was organizing a 5 day island hopping camping adventure. They extended his invitation to me. And that’s when I made a conscious decision to try something different. Therefore I went with a group of 15 strangers for a week at the Palaui Group of islands on the northern tip of the Philippines. And it was AMAZING!

I went to other adventures in the months that followed, climbing mountains, exploring beaches, and sampling the local delicacies. I met more like-minded individuals along the way as a different worId, which I never thought existed, slowly opened up for me. I picked up a lifestyle of cheap travel so I can get to more destinations. I learned how to budget for me to be ready for the next trip. I learned how to find my way in a new place. I became confident with myself. I learned to step out of my comfort zone. And for the first time in my life I felt free.

I realized that I was free to choose a lifestyle. And all it takes is to make a conscious choice of trying things out. Forget what other people think. Don’t overthink it! Just do it! You never know what you don’t know. And if it turns out ok, just keep going. If not, then stop. Learn from the experience and do something else. You just need to start doing and that makes looking back even more fulfilling. I chose to travel to as many places across the Philippine archipelago and within two years since I left for Palaui, and I did!

And in those travels, I met my husband. We both have itchy feet.

SpeechCraft: All Hands Volunteer

I am taking the Toastmasters SpeechCraft Course, Monday evenings at Mount Roskill Grammar.

Our homework was to do a persuasive speech. I thought about doing a speech on pearls but realised that I cannot sell it. Then I decided to talk about All Hands Volunteers and persuade the class to join. I looked for some old photos and researched about the organisation, on where they are at now. I enjoyed putting together this speech. I was again very nervous. I used a PPT presentation, selecting a few photos to help visualise the experience. The class was entertained and the teacher said that I did well in helping the audience relive my experience. I didn't look nervous to them. They said i engaged the audience and that i looked calm, and that the message was clear. This took about 4 minutes to deliver. Here's my speech:

13 July 2006, Mayon Volcano started erupting, followed by a quiet effusion of lava forcing at least 40,000 people to evacuate from the 8km danger zone. In my lifetime, this would be the second major volcanic eruption that I have experienced. The first being the Mount Pinatubo eruption back in June 1991.

Mount Mayon is 490km from Manila, where I lived. It’s roughly an 11 hour drive.

8 months since the eruption, I found myself within what used to be the 8km danger zone. There were still remnants of mudflow, charred vegetation and ruins.

That weekend, together with these lovely people, I was there as an All Hands Volunteer.

We took part in Project Sto. Domingo which was the rebuilding of the local primary school.

I had no experience with using a hammer and nails. And the first task given to me was to put up the classroom ceilings. I learned how to use the hammer, and how to avoid hitting my fingers. And got the job done!

It was an early start the next day and this time, it was to do a paint job.

I am afraid of heights and I have never done any painting before let alone painting the roof! Yet there I was, raising my hand, happy to have accomplished something because I just wanted to help. I was exhausted in those two days, and oddly enough, I also felt elated!

I was just there for the weekend, then a month later, I came back with a different set of friends, spending another weekend to help out. There was this incredible sense of camaraderie from working side by side with fellow volunteers and local community members. It was hard work but that experience changed me.

Some of these volunteers have already helped in Project Katrina. There were those who were just passing by, staying on from a few days to a couple of weeks, as they backpacked across Southeast Asia.

Whenever there’s a natural disaster, we’d ask survivors what they needed. We cleared debris, we built simple shelters, we rebuild fishing boats. We get our hands dirty.

All Hands is a volunteer-powered disaster relief organization dedicated to Rebuilding Hope for people impacted by natural disasters all over the world. By giving ordinary people the ability to make a difference, we have enabled over 39,000 volunteers to donate 200,000 days impacting 500,000 people worldwide in the past 12 years.

You never know when the next disaster would strike, but when it does, All Hands will be there. Make a difference! Be an All Hands Volunteer!

SpeechCraft: Journal Writing

I am taking the Toastmasters SpeechCraft Course, Monday evenings at Mount Roskill Grammar.

Our homework was to prepare for a speech on something that you are passionate about. So I wrote about Journal Writing. I had myself video recorded while I was delivering the speech. I was very nervous. I simply read my speech and they said that I had very good facial expressions. They were entertained and liked how I delivered the speech. Here's my speech:

It started as an exercise in school. We had to write a journal entry at least once a week as part of our English subject. Here we practiced our wow words and built on our vocabulary. It wasn’t easy to think of something to write when you’re in primary. I had to be on a lookout for exciting things and write about it the next day.

8^th July 1985

The best part of yesterday was when I eat Max’s pizza

and it was yummy and super duper yummy

and I was thinking… there is salt BUT there was no salt in the pizza

because pizza makers don’t put salt.

This was me writing back in the day. I wrote about things that made me happy. I was 8!

In high school, the focus for journal writing was length. It had to be X number of words per entry. The grammar should be right. OF COURSE I filtered my SCHOOL journal entries BECAUSE… I also kept a journal for myself.

23 August 1993

It's  fifteen days before I turn sixteen. I've been looking forward to being sixteen for a long time, but you know that right? It was always, in my mind, the real age when you stop being referred to as a child and start to grow towards adulthood. I always thought I'd do more after I turned sixteen. But honestly, I think it won't change anything.

A couple of years later, already an adult, I discovered Blogging. So I setup my blog, that’s a page on the internet and used it for journal writing.

24 September 2007

Speaking of, on our journey through life, we really should take only what we can't live without. Otherwise, those that are truly precious will only get mixed up with the non-essential things and if we don't figure out what we really need soon, the precious ones might just disappear in the clutter.

I wrote this after doing some shopping to prepare for a trip overseas. Now, that’s quite an insight.

Journaling is a beautiful and powerful facilitator of self-discovery. It reveals and tracks patterns and cycles. It HAS become a powerful habit which helped me develop a sense of self-awareness.

In the words of Anne Lister "What a comfort is this journal. I tell myself to myself and throw the burden on my book and feel relieved."

Do you keep a journal?

A Story on Mental Health

A lady, in her mid 50s terrified a a couple of intermmediate school kids (ages 10-13)at the train station yesterday as she started yelling at them. It was unprovoked and the kids ran straight to a busy street, afraid that the lady was chasing them. She did utter these words "I will shoot you down. I will kill you!"

This was shared on our Facebook community page by the kids' parent. People was able to identify the person. People who knew her said that she is mentally unstable. It was advised that the matter be brought to the police. The community did not want to do a witch hunt instead, raised the importance of dealing with mental health issues. Dialing 111 or NZ police is the best resort as police would know best to determine the best possible help needed by the woman.

I'm pleased with the healthy exchange of opinions on the post. Mental Health issues were highlighted and there was an outpouring of support from the community not just for the terrified kids but for the woman as well. People do trust that the police will do the right thing. And that this community do care and look after each other.