Missing my Barkada

Can't help but think about the lovely women who's grown up with me, and has been there to support me throughout these years. It's my AB Barkada. There's something about sharing life at UST, the growing pains, completing or at least going through our bachelor's degrees, the surprises that we had to deal with along the way. There are the boyfriends, work, family obligations, pregnancy, being a wife etc. We've grown so much together and have experienced our adulthood in various facets. I won't be where I am without my AB Barkada.

Now I am here going through my own struggles and not a barkada in sight. Thank God for social media as we are able to keep abreast of the going ons with our lives. I can't help but think on how things can be like when I am able to have a catch up with the girls, and then have that free exchange of thoughts, conversations about parenting or just life as a whole. Remember how I've always been the profound one. How I've always been the one who's so naive.

But that's life. Some people go through levels of realisations in varying degrees. Some just don't grow at all. Or maybe, things just gets stalled and before you know it, years have gone by already.

Oh how fast these things just happen. If we do not cherish the moments that we have together, then it's so easy to miss thsoe milestones, or key experiences that are worth sharing with the barkada.

I give thanks to having this really cool set of friends who I know will always be there for me, no matter where I am or what I have become.

Right now, we are all here to support our barkada, Lovella Pesquira Cailipan. Cancer may have crept up to you unknowingly but I know that with the support that this barkada is giving you, and the many friends along the way, you will be able to go through the treatment and recovery successfully. We'll continue to cheer you on. We are your friends, your long lost sisters and we'll do everything that we can to help you win this battle.

Lotsa love to you Lababz! Giving you a big hug from middle earth!

I Love My Little Helpers

I want to peel the carrots, said Rose.

So I showed her how to peel and let her finish one half of the carrot.

Then Rose went “Look Papa, I helped Mommy peel a carrot!”

Let me do it Mommy!

My son loves to vacuum. He takes pride in it. And my daughter too, simply because his brother is able to do it.

Let’s sweep the leaves Mommy, said Max.

Because the garage is empty, all three of us were able to clear out the leaves that has been blown into the garage. I pulled the green bin inside so it’s easier for the kids to put the leaves in.

I want to fold my clothes.

Let me do these socks. Oh no I can’t. It’s too big.

Why don’t you try these smaller socks instead Rose?

Mommy, you know, this morning Papa let me wash the dishes. I washed the bowls, the cups, the spoons and forks.

So Max now looks forward to doing the dishes!

With children, I suppose if you engage them early with everyday things, like house chores

then it boosts confidence, fostering independence and a sense of achievement with the responsibility entrusted on them.

It’s interesting how it was so different from how I grew up.  Chores are chores and ideally, is something that the household help will be doing. It probably took me at least two years since we’ve moved here to accept it and get used to it.

Getting Comfortable

Back at home, life was either school or work. There was no in-between for me except for the long commutes, where life is being wasted away in traffic. The longest that I was unemployed was only for about a month. During my entire work life, I have been quite diligent and have rendered long hours simply because I felt compelled to. It's like I owe it to my employer. It felt hard when I had kids. I always felt guilty for coming home late everyday, not having enough time to play with my little ones.

Here in Auckland, it's different. Personal life is very much at the core of things. We work because it pays the bills, and that's a given. But sometimes, we do it because we want to or simply because we want to support a colleague. It doesn't feel like we are forced to. I think if you have a supportive environment wherein people understand the demands of a growing family, then it's ok. My colleagues deserve my 100% during work hours. It will be a bonus if I do more.

Having a permanent role helps me manage all those school obligations, and in figuring out what to do during school holidays. I can say that as soon as I step out of the office, I have already switched into a Mom mode. And on weekends, it's all time with the family, and friends. Perhaps it's the weekend sports that the kids are enrolled in. Or the occasional catch up with the girls. And definitely the weekend visit to the parks and playgrounds here in Auckland. Mall visits are rare, and is mostly confined to when we really need things.

It can get a bit scary to change the routine. Will I have a park on the new workplace? Will I be able to get to the kids in time should there be an emergency? Can I make it home in time to make dinner?

It's manageable right now and I have a sense of control. I can hold my time and I never thought it was ever possible. I suppose I am quite comfortable.

The next big obstacle is in securing a house. I'm still not sure if we can do that in our lifetime given that exorbitant house prices. I'm sure there's always something that we can figure out. But other than that, life in Auckland for me is comfortable.

Comfortable because I can go wherever I want. I now hold a Restricted License! i just need to have enough guts to explore the roads. I feel secure whenever we're outside. I do not worry about getting held  up by a knife or a gun along the streets. I do not even worry about snatchers or pickpockets. And while driving, I feel confident in getting to my destination so long as I follow the rules. My car is insured anyway.

We do not have much in our savings but we do have something set aside. We are still paying up for our second car but the balance is manageable. We have so many places and events to go to that doesn't force you to spend money. We can always bring a picnic which the kids love. We have so much space that I have now started to feel a bit nervous when I'm faced with a crowd during rush hour at the CBD. And CBD crowd is not even half of Manila during off-peak.

I suppose it's good for me to be able to write again. That I am able to experiment on recipes whenever I feel like it. And that I actually have time to spend not just for me, but for my family. We are renting a small space in central Auckland but despite that, we are able to make a life here. We are far better off than when we were in Manila. Hence, I can say that things are indeed comfortable.